What’s Good? Embracing real and not forcing good

It’s the holiday season. School is breaking for a few weeks. Families are pulling out their traditions and recipes and getting ready to gather together for meals and parties. Cookies are baking, presents are wrapped, windows are frosted, and love abounds. Right? Maybe not. In this issue of The What’s Good Project we will:

• Reflect on what goodness means around the holidays

• Collect fireflies: other resources from around the web that are focused on goodness

• Look at some new habits for activating positive focus

• Take on a goodness challenge

Fireflies

Here is where we collect some cool resources from around the web and put them in a metaphorical mason jar to share with our community… just like the fireflies of summer.

• I joined the Blaine’s World webcast with Blaine Greenfield this past week to talk about improv as an impetus for goodness and so much more. Check it out here and also check out Blaine’s website which focuses on positive news.

• If you want a non-stop source of good news, check out The Good News Network. It doesn’t have to be your primary source of news, but it is helpful to remember that humans are inherently good

• IG Follow of the week: this is a high-value follow. Simon Sinek is the creator of the Optimism Company and is one of the most influential though leaders on business leadership… his message is universal and will undoubtedly improv your own life. His book, Start With Why, is a best-seller and highly recommended.

What’s Good Merch

Who doesn’t love cute merch? Be sure to check out The What’s Good Store and grab a sweatshirt, t-shirt, sticker, journal, and more. This is a great way to support The What’s Good Project while also spreading the positive message to those you meet.

The holidays set people up to fail

“Just be happy.” “I know you’re upset, but it’s Christmas.” “Can you just be happy for one day for the sake of everyone else.” “This is a season about gratitude, not sadness.”

Starting something like The What’s Good Project, like all things, brought considerable risk. For me, the biggest risk was catering to a culture of toxic positivity. I was (and remain) particularly determined not to allow authentic gratitude and curiosity to be misunderstood as a vehicle to deny real emotions.

Sadness is real. Anxiety is real. Grief is real.

What I have come to love about The What’s Good Project is the space it creates for things that are not good. In fact, my favorite thing to hear in my classroom when I ask, “what’s good?” is the reply: “This isn’t really good, but…”

The What’s Good Project has never been about denying real emotions in favor of positivity. It is, and always will be, however, about sharing your authentic experiences - good, bad, and ugly - in a way that allows us to always be aware of the nuances of life.

Sometimes the bad things turn to good, and sometimes they stay bad for a while. It’s all part of the same journey.

The holidays, in particular, can foster an energy of toxic positivity. And so, while I love the spirit of the season and everything that comes with it, I want to use this newsletter as a reminder that not everyone is loving this season. Some are grieving, some are pissed, some are hurting, and some are frustrated.

Wherever you find yourself this season, please don’t think that you need to reject your feelings. Sometimes the best you can do is honor the fact that you feel like crap. No amount of snow, lights, wreaths, menorahs, dreidels, trees, or stockings will change that. You do not need to accommodate someone else’s expectations of this season. You need to live in the complicated nuance that comes with being a human being… the highs, the lows, the longing, and the messy reality of being incomplete. Do not deny yourself the right of authenticity for the sake of the Hallmark channel and other people’s expectations.

Because, “this isn’t really good but…” it’s happening and that makes it real.

A habit of goodness

Here is something you can start today, even if you aren’t feeling the saccharine vibe of the holiday season. If you want to activate a positive focus (which can result in significant research-backed benefits), try this practice and turn it into a habit.

Before you go to bed tonight, write down three things that made you smile today.

Your instinct should absolutely be that this is stupid and corny. That means there is no risk in trying, so go for it.

Pro-tip: if you’re an in-bed scroller, use your notes app to jot these down before hopping on TikTok or Instagram.

Spread Goodness

The What’s Good Project is young and growing. Help it grow by doing two thing:

• Share your own What’s Good… big, small, silly, deep… it does not matter. What matters is contributing to the community that you desire. Use this link to share.

• Forward this email to your friends who either know the value of good or could use a little good to help them along. They can subscribe below

From the Community

We always encourage you to share your “what’s good.” Sharing gratitude is an act that can make an entire community stronger. When you share, you always have the option to keep your goodness anonymous, too. Here’s some of the good that has been shared this past week+

Amazing stuff from our community. Thanks for sharing and keep spreading the good!